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Hollywood Park: A Memoir Hardcover – May 26, 2020
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**THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER**
“A Gen-X This Boy’s Life...Music and his fierce brilliance boost Jollett; a visceral urge to leave his background behind propels him to excel... In the end, Jollett shakes off the past to become the captain of his own soul. Hollywood Park is a triumph."
―O, The Oprah Magazine
"This moving and profound memoir is for anyone who loves a good redemption story."
―Good Morning America, 20 Books We're Excited for in 2020
"Several years ago, Jollett began writing Hollywood Park, the gripping and brutally honest memoir of his life. Published in the middle of the pandemic, it has gone on to become one of the summer’s most celebrated books and a New York Times best seller..."
–Los Angeles Magazine
HOLLYWOOD PARK is a remarkable memoir of a tumultuous life. Mikel Jollett was born into one of the country’s most infamous cults, and subjected to a childhood filled with poverty, addiction, and emotional abuse. Yet, ultimately, his is a story of fierce love and family loyalty told in a raw, poetic voice that signals the emergence of a uniquely gifted writer.
We were never young. We were just too afraid of ourselves. No one told us who we were or what we were or where all our parents went. They would arrive like ghosts, visiting us for a morning, an afternoon. They would sit with us or walk around the grounds, to laugh or cry or toss us in the air while we screamed. Then they’d disappear again, for weeks, for months, for years, leaving us alone with our memories and dreams, our questions and confusion. …
So begins Hollywood Park, Mikel Jollett’s remarkable memoir. His story opens in an experimental commune in California, which later morphed into the Church of Synanon, one of the country’s most infamous and dangerous cults. Per the leader’s mandate, all children, including Jollett and his older brother, were separated from their parents when they were six months old, and handed over to the cult’s “School.” After spending years in what was essentially an orphanage, Mikel escaped the cult one morning with his mother and older brother. But in many ways, life outside Synanon was even harder and more erratic.
In his raw, poetic and powerful voice, Jollett portrays a childhood filled with abject poverty, trauma, emotional abuse, delinquency and the lure of drugs and alcohol. Raised by a clinically depressed mother, tormented by his angry older brother, subjected to the unpredictability of troubled step-fathers and longing for contact with his father, a former heroin addict and ex-con, Jollett slowly, often painfully, builds a life that leads him to Stanford University and, eventually, to finding his voice as a writer and musician.
Hollywood Park is told at first through the limited perspective of a child, and then broadens as Jollett begins to understand the world around him. Although Mikel Jollett’s story is filled with heartbreak, it is ultimately an unforgettable portrayal of love at its fiercest and most loyal.
- Print length384 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherCeladon Books
- Publication dateMay 26, 2020
- Dimensions6.45 x 1.27 x 9.49 inches
- ISBN-101250621569
- ISBN-13978-1250621566
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From the Publisher



How clear are your memories from childhood?
Mikel Jollett: I mostly grew up in the wreckage of Synanon, since we left when I was so young. It came to me like a puzzle I had to put together, almost like separate realities with different rules: Here are the Rules According to Synanon (you have no parents, you are a new type of human who doesn’t need them, nothing is yours), here are the Rules in the Great Big World (no one talks to each other, you’re very poor, your mother is very sad). It took my brother and me a long, long time to piece together the reality that a functional adult might have about the situation, that we’d escaped a cult that had once done good things for addicts (including our father), that our mother was severely depressed, and that these experiences were unique in some ways and quite common in others.
So I wrote the book from that perspective, at least at the beginning: that of a child trying to piece together the reality of the changing world around him; because that’s how I experienced it. There were mysteries. What is a restaurant? (We’d never been in one). What is a car? A city? And, most devastatingly, what is a family? Because we simply didn’t know.
In the book, I just present it whole, the way it came to me in my life: like a mystery I couldn’t quite fathom that I had to piece together over a lifetime.

Hollywood Park, The Album
In conjunction with Mikel Jollett's memoir, The Airborne Toxic Event has released an album by the same name. Hollywood Park is a 12-song concept record that acts as a soundtrack to the book. Available from Amazon Music.
Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com Review
Review
"Loyalty, raw love, and a poetic voice."
―Good Housekeeping, "Best Books of 2020"
"A memoir that is dangerous, immediate and lyrical from the jump"
―The Wall Street Journal
“A Gen-X This Boy’s Life...Music and his fierce brilliance boost Jollett; a visceral urge to leave his background behind propels him to excel... In the end, Jollett shakes off the past to become the captain of his own soul. Hollywood Park is a triumph."
―O, The Oprah Magazine
“Mikel Jollett Changes the Memoir Form”
―Maris Kreizman , LIT HUB’s SHELTERING Podcast
“Jollett’s story serves as a potent reminder that while we cannot change the hand we’re dealt, our freedom lies in what we choose to do with those cards.”
―Adrienne Brodeur, author of Wild Game, THE MILLIONS
"Mikel Jollett, the front man of indie band Airborne Toxic Event, chronicles his tumultuous life. Jollett was born into one of the country’s most infamous cults and subjected to a childhood filled with poverty, addiction and emotional abuse. What comes through the pages is a story of fierce love and family loyalty."
―Good Morning America, 20 Books We're Excited for in 2020
"A painstaking emotional accounting of a tortured youth ultimately redeemed through music, therapy, and love."
―Kirkus, STARRED REVIEW
"The frontman of rock band Airborne Toxic Event chronicles, in gorgeous and exacting lyricism, his harrowing coming-of-age within (and eventual escape from) the Church of Synanon, a violent religious cult."
―O, The Oprah Magazine, The 30 Most Anticipated Books of 2020 (so Far)
“Jollett engagingly narrates his story...result[ing] in a shocking but contemplative memoir about the aftermath of an unhealthy upbringing.”
―Publishers Weekly, STARRED REVIEW
"...Engaging and heartbreaking. A good choice for fans of memoirs about overcoming dysfunctional childhoods like Educated and The Glass Castle."
―Booklist
"Mikel Jollett’s gripping memoir starts with a harrowing escape from a cult where he was raised without parents, only to be thrown into a more chaotic world where he’s raised by them. With a childhood defined by neglect, poverty and uncertainty, Jollett’s story serves as a potent reminder that while we cannot change the hand we're dealt, our freedom lies in what we choose to do with those cards. Hollywood Park is an illuminating and redemptive account of one man’s search for meaning, family, and love."
―ADRIENNE BRODEUR, author of Wild Game
"Violent and tender and incandescent, Hollywood Park is as touching as it is shocking. Jollett deftly dissects his struggle to unburden himself of the damage he inherited from his broken family, with insights that are brutally honest and psychologically astute. It tore me apart."
―JANELLE BROWN, New York Times bestselling author of Watch Me Disappear and Pretty Things
“Hollywood Park is amazing. Mikel Jollett takes the shards of a broken childhood – imagine a life where escaping from a violent cult is somehow not a path to safety – and makes it a universal story of the struggle to find connection in a brutally beautiful world. His story zigs where you think it’s going to zag, and even the most irredeemable characters somehow surprise us with their tenacity. It’s a complicated story with a simple payoff: this is how the light gets in, this is how an artist gets made.”
― GLEN DAVID GOLD, author of Carter Beats the Devil
“Hollywood Park is the often heartbreaking, always honest story of a confused boy struggling to make sense of a crazy world. It’s filled with pain, poverty, and violence but also with surprising love, rock and roll, and unexpected triumphs.”
― DARIN STRAUSS, NBCC-winning author of Half a Life
“This is a memoir, but it’s also a song―a lyrical labyrinth that weaves and mesmerizes, all the while proving there’s nothing more dangerous or powerful than a parent’s love. Hollywood Park is a magical debut. Loved it.”
― BRAD MELTZER, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Escape Artist
“Hollywood Park is full of moving portraits of Jollett’s brother, his father, and his band of contemporaries. To read these pages is to love them right along with him.”
― SEAN WILSEY, author of Oh the Glory of It All
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Celadon Books
- Publication date : May 26, 2020
- Language : English
- Print length : 384 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1250621569
- ISBN-13 : 978-1250621566
- Item Weight : 1.4 pounds
- Dimensions : 6.45 x 1.27 x 9.49 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #658,576 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #44 in Religious Cults (Books)
- #106 in Dysfunctional Families (Books)
- #1,593 in Memoirs (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Mikel Jollett is the frontman of the indie band The Airborne Toxic Event. Prior to forming the band, Jollett graduated with honors from Stanford University. He was an on-air columnist for NPR's All Things Considered, an editor-at-large for Men's Health and an editor at Filter magazine. His fiction has been published in McSweeney's.
Customer reviews
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers describe this memoir as a wild emotional ride filled with heart-wrenching life lessons, with brilliant writing that brings words and pages to life. Customers praise the author's ability to describe experiences in detail, their raw honesty, and their amazing talent. The book features a love story that highlights the author's love for his family, and one customer notes how it provides examples of coping with impossible odds.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers praise the writing quality of the book, admiring its lyrics and storytelling, with one customer noting how words and pages come alive throughout the narrative.
"...Mikel Jollett's music is very good, but I listened to it with a different ear after reading this book...." Read more
"...Aside from the astoundingly expressive and brilliant writing, if I had to sum the book up in one word it would be "BRUTIFUL" a book that is equally..." Read more
"...He is an incredible writer, I enjoyed learning about his journey of self discovery and working through the pain to find ways of expressing himself..." Read more
"...The book pushed a lot of buttons for me, but it is so well-written that I continued reading in light of many tears...." Read more
Customers find this memoir heartwarming, describing it as a wild emotional ride with soul-stirring moments, and one customer notes it's full of life lessons.
"...This is simply one of the best turn around stories that I have ever read...." Read more
"I very rarely feel compelled to write a review but this book touched me to the core...." Read more
"...A stellar memoir from a major intellect." Read more
"...What a talent. There is not a boring part to this story. You root for him the whole way, becoming so invested in his journey...." Read more
Customers praise the author's memoir as an amazing well-told story that describes experiences in detail, making it a must-read autobiography.
"...His creativity cannot be denied and his pop (I loved the whole Italian-American references and fully related to the Italian family), was a good guy,..." Read more
"Great memoir, highly recommend :)" Read more
"...And wham. I became immersed in the story immediately when I started the book yesterday afternoon and got up at 4 a.m. this morning to finish it...." Read more
"...n’t matter if you know the guy or his music, this is one of THE BEST autobiographies I have ever read, and I have read plenty...." Read more
Customers find the memoir heartbreaking at times, describing it as sad and tough, with one customer highlighting it as an amazing story of survival and good examples of coping with impossible odds.
"...of buttons for me, but it is so well-written that I continued reading in light of many tears...." Read more
"...(of the band The Airborne Toxic Event) is a beautifully raw, heartbreaking, and hopeful memoir...." Read more
"...Powerful and heartbreaking, so happy that he’s been able to gain insight and not let his past kill him." Read more
"...I found it heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. A very well-written book with a lot of eloquent phrases...." Read more
Customers appreciate the book's authenticity, praising its raw honesty.
"...word it would be "BRUTIFUL" a book that is equally intensely brutal, truthful and amazingly beautiful...." Read more
"...amazed by his fluency, his descriptions, and most of all, by his raw honesty. It takes guts to lay it on the line as he does...." Read more
"...Park by Mikel Jollett (of the band The Airborne Toxic Event) is a beautifully raw, heartbreaking, and hopeful memoir...." Read more
"I couldn't put this book down! So raw and honest!..." Read more
Customers appreciate the character development in the book, with one customer noting how vividly the characters are portrayed.
"...was a good guy, a great guy, an understanding, tough-love angel that reappears in his..." Read more
"...First of all, Mr. Jollett can flat write. I was amazed by his fluency, his descriptions, and most of all, by his raw honesty...." Read more
"...he, as an adult, is able and willing to look at himself, find his character defects, acknowledge them, and then make a conscious effort in changing..." Read more
"...Well, Mr Jollet, you have. Never have characters been drawn so real and experiences described so candidly so that I feel I know these people,..." Read more
Customers appreciate the love story in the book, with several noting the author's obvious love for his family, and one customer highlighting the common themes of love, life, and family.
"...It is a story about real life. It is really a love story - a story about what it really means to love and to be loved." Read more
"...I also kept going because Mr. Jollett writes with such compassion, love, and generosity...." Read more
"...all the way to his successful music career and, at last, a fulfilling marriage and family...." Read more
"...and why I love this book at first glance it’s the common themes of love and life and family. Then, it’s the writing...." Read more
Customers find the pacing of the book moving, with one mentioning it kept them up nights reading.
"...I found this to be a moving read and am grateful that he has found the capacity to relate his experience through such powerful writing...." Read more
"...It was a moving read but it could have given me so much more." Read more
"...His story is riveting and moving and his love for his family is obvious as he tells their stories of failure and redemption...." Read more
"...The raw honesty and vulnerability exposed is incredibly moving and admirably courageous." Read more
Reviews with images

A Memoir That Holds Your Attention like a Contemporary Thriller
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on September 29, 2020So I was halfway through Mikel Jollett's stunning memoir, Hollywood Park and thought I must have the wrong author. I thought Mikel Jollett went to Stanford. The author of this book had every conceivable disadvantage in his early life including an escape from a notorious cult, a drug addicted, imprisoned father and a mother that suffered such severe bouts of "deep Russian" (the author's heart breaking perception as a child of mental illness) that at best she was an absent parent. By the time he and his brother were in middle school, he and his brother were abusing alcohol and drugs and marginally attending school.
Well it turns out Mikel Jollett did wind up at Stanford. There he was a freshman phenom runner on the track team, just one of many of his extraordinary talents. Oh yeah and the is the frontman for the Airborne Toxic Event, for which he writes the songs and lyrics. This is simply one of the best turn around stories that I have ever read.
Mikel Jollett's music is very good, but I listened to it with a different ear after reading this book. His real genius is his writing, whether its lyrics or literature. Here's hoping he keeps writing.
- Reviewed in the United States on March 26, 2022I very rarely feel compelled to write a review but this book touched me to the core. My husband and I have been TATE fans for years and I bought this book as a gift for him. He urged me to read it too and boy am I a grateful I did. Aside from the astoundingly expressive and brilliant writing, if I had to sum the book up in one word it would be "BRUTIFUL" a book that is equally intensely brutal, truthful and amazingly beautiful. I cried, I swelled with pride at triumphs and wanted to reach thru the pages of time to hug/comfort a young Mikel relating so much to some of his struggles. As a child who also lived in a household with a Borderline Personality Disorder mother, I had a lot of a-ha moments reading about his experiences with his own mother. Years of my own research and reading on the subject were so eloquently and succinctly summed up here - which was such an unexpected outcome of reading. This book will make you feel and leave you wanting an encore.
- Reviewed in the United States on July 29, 2020I love reading memoirs. Everyone has a story, and learning about their lives through the lens of their reality, or sometimes others' realities, is so intriguing. Mike Jollett's memoir does both as he struggles understanding his life through his childhood eyes, what he is told happened and how he should feel; and later through the eyes as a teen and adult trying to process his childhood, reconciling what he knows to be true and his reality, and finding his own voice and his own way in the world. He endured a tumultuous life of sadness, poverty, loneliness, addiction, emotional abuse and abandonment. Growing up in a cult, escaping with his mom and brother, learning things about his father and afraid he was destined to be like him, persevering in spite of who his father was, understanding his mother's mental state and narcissistic personality. Children often compartmentalize their feelings and learn to cope in different ways. "What do you do when you're a scared-shitless kid that's been faking it for long? You bury it."
He talks about wearing a "mask" as a survival mechanism. "It's a mask, this face you create for others, one you hide behind as you laugh at jokes you don't understand and skip uncomfortable details, entire years of your life, as if they simply did not happen." He learns to hide behind a mask, don't devulge too much information, to hide your feelings. Also for Mikel, music was a big outlet for him, teaching him about the world, and eventually propelling him to find and use his voice to share the pain he endured. If you haven't listend to his band, The Airborne Toxic Event, I highly recommend them, and you can learn a little more about Mikel through the songs he writes. He is an incredible writer, I enjoyed learning about his journey of self discovery and working through the pain to find ways of expressing himself and finding peace. Learning from his father, "Sometimes you just have to sit on your hands and hurt." Yet, realizing he can turn his pain into his art, writing.
Top reviews from other countries
- Slugger66Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 3, 2020
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful!
Beautifully written and utterly captivating, Mikel's book had me hooked from beginning to end. I loved it and thoroughly recommend it. The easiest 5-star rating I'll ever give.
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Ismael Chan ChávezReviewed in Mexico on January 7, 2021
5.0 out of 5 stars Un libro maravilloso
Había estado esperando poder pedir este libro el año pasado. Sigo a The Airborne Toxic Event y al enterarme del nuevo álbum y de la memoria de Mikel Jollet no podía esperar.
Tuve que esperar unos meses porque no me encontraba en mi ciudad y hubiera sido difícil pedir algo por la pandemia.
Aunque está en inglés, es un libro maravilloso. Si eres fan de la banda seguro que lo amarás, aunque debes tener un buen nivel de inglés.
El producto llegó en el tiempo establecido, incluso creo que antes. Además bien cuidado. Estoy feliz.
Ismael Chan ChávezUn libro maravilloso
Reviewed in Mexico on January 7, 2021
Tuve que esperar unos meses porque no me encontraba en mi ciudad y hubiera sido difícil pedir algo por la pandemia.
Aunque está en inglés, es un libro maravilloso. Si eres fan de la banda seguro que lo amarás, aunque debes tener un buen nivel de inglés.
El producto llegó en el tiempo establecido, incluso creo que antes. Además bien cuidado. Estoy feliz.
Images in this review
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DennyReviewed in Germany on June 11, 2020
5.0 out of 5 stars Ein Virtuose
Mikel Jollett ist der Frontmann der kalifornischen Indie-Rock-Band The Airborne Toxic Event. Zuvor war er bereits als Journalist im Musikbusiness sowie als Verfasser von Kurzgeschichten tätig, nun folgt sein Debüt als Autor.
"Hollywood Park" ist dabei autobiografisch geprägt und berichtet von Jolletts Großwerden in den Fängen der Synanon-Sekte, der Flucht sowie dem anschließenden Leben in derart zerrütteten Verhältnissen, dass man als Leser stark emotional involviert ist (und es vermutlich auch wäre, wenn man nicht dem Schaffen der Band seit langem folgen würde).
Ihm gelingt es auf bravouröse Weise, in sein Kindheits-Ich zurück zu gehen und aus den Augen eines einsamen Jungen zu schreiben, gleichzeitig schafft Jollett es, eine Brücke zu seinem jetzigen Dasein zu schlagen. Besondere Bedeutung kommt dabei seinem rebellischen, aber liebenden Vater zu, ebenso seiner Mutter mit einer stark narzistisch ausgeprägten psychischen Krankheit sowie seinem lange Zeit suchtkranken Bruder Tony.
Nicht umsonst ist dieses Buch in Oprahs Liste der Bücher aufgetaucht, die man 2020 lesen sollte und nicht umsonst ist es umgehend in die Top 10 der Bestseller-Liste des New Yorkers aufgenommen worden. Jollett gelingt es, unglaublich emotional zu werden, ohne dabei pathetisch zu sein. Ihm gelingt es, traurig zu sein, ohne kitschig zu werden. Ihm gelingt es, Kind zu sein, ohne unnötig auszuschweifen.
Als Resümee bleibt mir zu sagen, ebenfalls ohne pathetisch zu werden, dass ich als mittlerweile 34-jähriger Mann an zwei Stellen im Buch Tränen in den Augen hatte, was mir in meinem bisherigen Lese-Leben noch nicht passiert ist. Zudem erläutert das Buch implizit (teils auch explizit) vieles, dass den Gedanken hinter The Airborne Toxic Event und deren Musik erklärt.
Absolute Leseempfehlung.
- Linda MaloneyReviewed in Canada on September 15, 2020
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant!
Mikel Jollet has a gift for putting his deepest most complex thoughts into words! He has managed to create beauty from chaos and dysfunction and this is a must read for any adult who grew up in any kind of dysfunctional environment!
- b forceReviewed in the United Kingdom on September 15, 2021
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
Great book! Evocative and detailed account