In her global phenomenon The 5 Second Rule, Mel Robbins taught millions of people around the world the five second secret to motivation. Now she's back with another simple, proven tool you can use to take control of your life: The High 5 Habit.
Don't let the title fool you. This isn't a book about high fiving everyone else in your life. You're already doing that. Cheering for your favorite teams. Celebrating your friends. Supporting the people you love as they go after what they want in life.
Imagine if you gave that same love and encouragement to yourself. Or even better, you made it a daily habit.
You'd be unstoppable.
In this book, Mel teaches you how to start high fiving the most important person in your life, the one who is staring back at you in the mirror: YOURSELF.
If you struggle with self-doubt (and who doesn't?) ... If you're tired of that nagging critic in your head (could somebody evict them already?) ... If you're wildly successful but all you focus on is what's going wrong (you're not alone) ... If you're sick of watching everybody else get ahead while you sit on the couch with your dog (don't bring your dog into this) ...
...Mel dedicates this book to you.
Using her signature science-backed wisdom, deeply personal stories, and the real-life results that The High 5 Habit is creating in people's lives around the world (and you'll meet a lot of them throughout this book), Mel will teach you how to make believing in yourself a habit so that you operate with the confidence that your goals and dreams demand.
The High 5 Habit is a simple yet profound tool that changes your attitude, your mindset, and your behavior. So be prepared to laugh and learn as you take steps to immediately boost your confidence, happiness, and results.
It's time to give yourself the high fives, celebration, and support you deserve.
Mel Robbins is an Ivy League educated criminal defense attorney and entrepreneur whose quick wit and fresh take on current affairs has helped her become a sought-after commentator, internationally recognized speaker, Contributing Editor to SUCCESS Magazine, best-selling author, relationship expert and Common Sense Activist.
Her advice and fiery opinion have been seen by tens of millions of viewers nationwide on shows ranging from Dr. Phil, Anderson Cooper, The Today Show, The Talk, Oprah, CNBC, and FOX Business.
Mel’s first book, STOP SAYING YOU’RE FINE – The No B.S. Guide To Getting What You Want – is now available in paperback and is published by Crown. It’s the best-seller that teaches readers how to stop procrastinating by using the latest neuroscience research and ingenious strategies to achieve goals.
Mel loves speaking to large audiences and delivers action-inspiring keynote speeches and workshops at large business conventions and leadership conferences worldwide. She also hosts leadership and training programs for companies ranging from Johnson & Johnson, Fidelity, Partners Healthcare, Wells Fargo; to leading law firms, family businesses, and privately held companies across America.
Mel is a graduate of Dartmouth College and Boston College Law School. She’s a working mom with three school-aged kids and is married to fellow entrepreneur Christopher Robbins, the co-founder of Stone Hearth Pizza.
HIGHLIGHTS: 1. YOU + MIRROR: - High-five yourself in the mirror. - Deliberately cheer yourself forward.
2. BE YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER: - Practice giving yourself encouragement and validation. - Cheer loud for yourself so you can cheer louder for others. - The foundation you have with yourself is the foundation you have with everyone else. Improve it. - Reflecting on your work makes you more productive. - You are celebrating WITH someone for just being them.
3. ACTIONS: - Act like the person you want to become and act accordingly. - Action proves your new belief is true. - Turn jealousy into “inspiration.”
4. GUILT: - Guilt makes you feel uncomfortable, so you cave because you are afraid of the fallout. - Guilt contracts and love expands. - Stop feeling guilty. Start feeling appreciative. - Destructive guilt will compel you to keep apologizing, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” - Say “thank you” to the person who helped fulfill your needs.
5. KEEP A LOG: - Write down the signs and coincidences that you are on the right path. Keep a log. - Play a game with yourself that the universe is giving you clues that you are making progress on the thing that you really want. - The game is showing up. The game is hearing no and you keep moving forward. - The greatest risk is doing nothing, not failure.
6. PUT SELF FIRST: - Honor what you think about yourself more than what other people think about you. - You hear your own criticism inside other people’s minds. - Lose the weight of everyone else’s opinions about your life. - Your need for approval and to fit in is dominating your life. Put yourself first. - Motivation isn’t there when you need it.
7. CHANGE: - Moments of sudden change always draw a line in the sand. There is a “before” and an “after.” - Mantra: “I’m okay. I’m safe. I’m loved.” (With a hand on my heart).
8. PUT YOURSELF FIRST: - A High-five morning puts your needs first. - Wake up with the first alarm. 5-4-3-2-1 get up. - Put a hand on the heart + mantra. - High-five yourself in the mirror. - Make your bed. - Plan the night before and what you need.
9. RAS (part of the brain): - Decides what information gets into the conscious brain and what gets filtered out. - Four things that can always come through: the sound of your name, any threat to safety, your partner is interested in having sex with you or someone else, and whatever you tell your brain is important to you. - Your brain is designed to help you get what you want. - Your brain will help you filter in real-time.
10. CONGRUENCE: - Create the feelings you want in life. Give it to yourself. - Be in congruence with action and the promises you make to yourself.
At times simple & sweet, at others neurotic and anxiety-provoking. The author is at her best when directing other people (there is a particularly effective example of her speaking to an Uber driver who wants to move to Hollywood and forcing himself to set a deadline of three weeks) and at her worst when talking about own life experience, which I found uncomfortably highly-strung, self-obsessed, and stress-inducing - unfortunately, this made up 90% of the book.
The book would be a lot shorter if it stopped advertising itself(we get it and we've already bought it). I can't say the habit doesn't work but it's suprising a whole book can come out if it. But what can you expect from a book about self congratulating? Some touching stories and wishful thinking through the lense of confirmation bias. 'It worked for me, so it will work for you'. I'd be interested in seeing brain scans to see the structural changes high5 can do for your brain. Hints of support for MLMs (is your friends make up business doing well are you jealous) and claiming not to be toxic positivity but also asking you to flip negative thoughts or just say I'm not thinking that. Saying that I'm still going to try the high5 habit for myself.
I feel like I read this book at just the right time. Things have been a little off, and not really going so smoothly for me, so reading this book brought my self confidence right back up!
I follow Mel Robbins on social media and I just LOVE her posts! Like her posts, this book was a daily dose of inspiration. I am so glad that I own this book so that I can flip through certain pages and chapters from time to time.
I highly recommend reading The High 5 Habit if you’re looking for a self esteem boost, a confidence boost, and also an inspirational boost. Mel Robbin’s personal stories are so relatable, it will be hard not to fall in love with this book!
I love the simplicity of this book. Wake up. Make your bed. Ignore your phone. Go outside. Set an intention. Brush your teeth. Give yourself a high 5 in the mirror. Tell yourself how fabulous and fearless your are. Then go kick some major ass throughout the rest of your day and accomplish more of what you want out of life.
Who needs to pay for therapy when you can listen to Mel Robbins on Audible? Are you looking for a complete game changer? RUN to audible and download this baby NOW!
I've been a fan of Mel Robbins ever since I got the "5 Second Rule" audiobook a few years ago. I've heard all of her books but I haven't followed her podcast. I saw one of her TV Shows, I think it was the first one, I really can't stand TV (in general,) but I love her books. So I pre-ordered this one months ago, and it finally came out and I'm glad I was between books so I can take it on right away. I love the chapters on jealousy and guilt are really well done and chapter 14 was just AWESOME! She couldn't even read it without tearing up! Just totally lovely! Overall the book provides great advice mainly for being kind to yourself. Self care & love cannot be expressed enough, and she nails it and makes it very actionable! She is very entertaining with her f-bombs in the audiobook, a little tamer in the Kindle version :-) I will try high 5'ing myself in the mirror and see how it goes!
Man do I regret having parted with my money for this book. I read quite a number of self help type books but this is one of the worst I've read. So bad in fact that I felt compelled to leave this review.
It's no more than a memoir that's been loosely twisted into some sort of "self help book". I don't know if its exciting or depressing that a book like this can become a best seller. The author references "science" throughout the book to back up her guidance but then at the end of the book makes a life changing decision based off what a "psychic" told her. That really helped to sum up this book for me.
I guess the author had to get something onto the market and this well marketed book is the end result. Sure its been very well promoted and is a profitable book but do not buy into the hype, this book has little to offer.
“Your mind is designed to help you achieve your dreams. Your job is to believe it is possible and encourage yourself to keep walking toward it.”
Some good advice, back by science. Changing yourself and your habits is never easy. Mel, gives some tips and trick to help you cope with these changes. I’m definitely trying to reprogram my RSA.
Hi there Mel! I like your positive attitude to life. I like that you are a go-getter, and I am ecstatic that you succeeded!
Mel asks you to simply wake up in the morning and high five yourself in the bathroom mirror, or any mirror for that matter. The psychology behind doing this is that you can’t high five yourself and, in the same breath, say something negative about yourself. Therefore, the simple act of high-fiving yourself gives your self-confidence a boost at a time that it opportune – the time normally reserved for morning blues!
My key takeaways from this include:
• Mel: No matter how atrocious your past was, you can create a different future. It doesn’t matter that your habits are self-destructive or that your mistakes have been disastrous. You can change what happens next. Know that no matter how deep your pit of shame may be, you can climb out of it and start over.
Me: Our past defines us, or does it? I believe that it shapes our life up to a certain point of time, beyond which we take control. Majority of the time, we regret what we call ‘mistakes’ from the past, when perhaps they weren’t mistakes after all, perhaps they are what made us who we are. Everyone who knows you has a different perspective on your actions – some condemn them, whilst others praise them, what you choose to do with them is what matters in the end.
• Mel: Guilt is one of the most powerful emotions in the world. If you are susceptible to feeling it, you need to know how to break free. Feelings of guilt are like reins on a horse. Picture your spirit as a beautiful stallion who wants nothing than to feel its power and strength and speed. It wants to race across a field with the sun on its back and the wind on its mane. But the reins of guilt are pulling tight, slowing your spirit down and eventually stopping it where it stands: someone you love is going to be hurt or disappointed if you want to race in the direction of your dreams. All it can do is obey.
Me: The guilt trip – we all feel it at one point or another. It’s almost impossible to always choose ourselves over others. If I did this for myself, would I be selfish? Can’t I choose a course of action that satisfies the maximum number of people? I would rather get hurt than hurt the people I love – haven’t I already disappointed them enough? These are the questions that riddle us with guilt. We allow society and the people around us to dictate the course our life should take. Allow yourself to feel guilty but allow yourself to let go of it too. Guilt weighs heavily on the mind and preys on your conscience heavily. For me, guilt is the most powerful emotion of all, and it is important to learn to control it!
Mel speaks of other crippling emotions / habits such as Jealousy, Procrastination and Perfectionism, the “But do you like me?” syndrome and “Why me?” . . . They all drag us down. We just need the power to overcome them from time to time.
Current limiting belief: What will everyone think? Flip it: My happiness is more important than what anyone else thinks about it.
I am always amazed by the way our mind works. This book highlights the importance of positive thinking with the help of the Reticular Activating System - or RAS, the filter of our mind which ensures that only relevant data reaches our conscious. If RAS thinks negativity is appropriate (as we follow our negative and self-limiting thoughts more), it'll highlight it more. So Author teaches high-fiving our reflection as the first step to positive thinking. Interrupting our old thinking patterns is essential.
May you become kind, supportive, and encouraging to yourself!!
I'm not the target audience for this book. Very little felt applicable. This book could have been a blog post or an email. It's too long. It's filled with wandering personal stories. I quit at 50%. Read the Wikipedia summary instead.
I started this on Friday, October 1st and finished it on Monday, October 4th. I started the High 5 Habit the same day, on Friday. The next day, seriously, I started smiling at myself in the mirror. On Sunday, I'm looking at myself, giving myself a High 5 and giggling. It's like a heaviness has been lifted from my soul. The concepts are simple, but the impact is profound. I highly recommend you invest in yourself and start the High 5 Habit. It's a gift you won't regret.
Ser pesquisadora no Brasil acabou com minha autoestima e me levou a ler auto-ajuda, rs.
Mas que livrinho poderoso, hein? Me senti o Chandler ouvindo o audiobook, que lavagem cerebral efetiva. Eu tenho um guilty pleasure com livros que trazem anedotas aleatórias e pesquisas comportamentais para comprovar essas histórias, fui pega. (Minha psicanalista está ciente da heresia e nenhum coach foi contratado no percurso).
I’m always interested in what mel robbins is putting out so I naturally had to read this book :)
I think it’s a really fantastic introduction to the self-improvement world and is perfect for someone who is suffering with anxiety and/or is fairly new to visualization and such habits. I’m fairly well-informed in this area so it was less ground-breaking for me but it could be interesting for anyone unfamiliar with the reticular activating system and how it affects our life.
Mel’s work always feels genuine and I could hear the words coming off the page in her signature witty and honest style. she mentioned a lot of scientific studies I hadn’t encountered and, even though this seems a lot more cutesy than her previous content, I think it still packs a punch.
3.95 stars out of 5 stars ⭐️ (but I rounded up to 4 because I’m not a monster lol)
I put this book down in 2021 or 2022 and just picked it up (via audio) again yesterday and finished today.
There’re some thoughtful messages here and some strong takeaways, although I do wish there was more research explicitly incorporated, and some of the chapters/points felt like things I’d known long before reading this. The repeated references to her own brand/products were also a bit overbearing.
However, I like the idea of the high five habit and even of making sure we are investing in ourselves and considering how we can best set ourselves up for success.
Mel Robbins is one of the person to whom I unconditionally take the word and follow all of her advices...Her determination and positive attitude always have amazed me. She is so cool. This book gave me a courage to start to write one project of mine. And honestly I loved "High 5 habit" self-help literature, more than 5 sec rule.
Це не книга, в якій ви знайдете сухі факти та дослідження. Тут є особистий досвід та історія авторки, тут є сеанс мотиваційної терапії, де через текст до тебе намагаються достукатись. І таки достукується🫡 А може мені зайшло, бо я щиро люблю Мел і вже роками надихаюсь її подкастом.
Збережено купу цитат. Але окрім цього - мені дійсно хочеться міняти деякі речі, про які було згадано. А для мене це ознака хорошої, матьйого, мотивашки.
She is the best!! Από τα καλύτερα βιβλία εμψύχωσης. Το συστήνω 100% Δίνει κίνητρο στον εαυτό για να σηκωθεί και να πράξει και μας προσφέρει όλη τη μεθοδολογία με άπλο τρόπο! Συμβουλή: εγώ προτίμησα το ηχητικό και το άκουγα καθώς γυμναζόμουν καθημερινά και με βοήθησε πολύ!
This book deals with how one habit of high-fiveng oneself can change our attitude, mindset and confidence. I felt really good reading this book. It is very inspirational and motivational. I will be returning to this book also in the future for more inspiration and motivation.
3.5 stars. Great theories and loved the science backing - some detail felt repetitive and also very “owned experience” would’ve loved more from other people trying the high 5 method. My favourite bit was the recap on what to do to set up your day for success and will look to integrate journal prompts into my own practice.