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With the End in Mind: Dying, Death, and Wisdom in an Age of Denial Hardcover – January 16, 2018

by Kathryn Mannix (Author)
4.6 out of 5 stars 4,915 ratings
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For readers of Atul Gawande and Paul Kalanithi, a palliative care doctor's breathtaking stories from 30 years spent caring for the dying.

Modern medical technology is allowing us to live longer and fuller lives than ever before. And for the most part, that is good news. But with changes in the way we understand medicine come changes in the way we understand death. Once a familiar, peaceful, and gentle -- if sorrowful -- transition, death has come to be something from which we shield our eyes, as we prefer to fight desperately against it rather than accept its inevitability.

Dr. Kathryn Mannix has studied and practiced palliative care for thirty years. In With the End in Mind , she shares beautifully crafted stories from a lifetime of caring for the dying, and makes a compelling case for the therapeutic power of approaching death not with trepidation, but with openness, clarity, and understanding.

Weaving the details of her own experiences as a caregiver through stories of her patients, their families, and their distinctive lives, Dr. Mannix reacquaints us with the universal, but deeply personal, process of dying. With insightful meditations on life, death, and the space between them, With the End in Mind describes the possibility of meeting death gently, with forethought and preparation, and shows the unexpected beauty, dignity, and profound humanity of life coming to an end.
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  1. Print length
    352 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Little, Brown Spark
  4. Publication date
    January 16, 2018
  5. Dimensions
    6 x 1.25 x 8.5 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0316504483
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0316504485
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Popular Highlights in this book
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  1. There are only two days with fewer than twenty-four hours in each lifetime, sitting like bookends astride our lives: one is celebrated every year, yet it is the other that makes us see living as precious.
    Highlighted by 905 Kindle readers
  2. Enabling people to be architects of their own solution is key to respecting their dignity. They are only in a new phase of life; they have not abdicated personhood.
    Highlighted by 469 Kindle readers
  3. It’s a truth rarely acknowledged that as we live longer thanks to modern medicine, it is our years of old age that are extended, not our years of youth and vigour. What are we doing to ourselves?
    Highlighted by 418 Kindle readers
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"With sometimes unsettling detail, admirable empathy and a sprinkling of humor, Dr. Mannix imparts valuable lessons for anyone who faces the loss of a family member or a personal reckoning with impending demise."―The Wall Street Journal

"With the End in Mind is one of the loveliest books I've ever read. It's part memoir and part self-help manual, part practical advice and part professional credo. Mannix's compassion is bottomless and her scrupulousness unimpeachable."―Bookforum

About the Author

Dr. Kathryn Mannix is a physician specializing in palliative care, and a cognitive behavior therapist (CBT). She has run palliative care services in community, hospice, and large hospital settings. She is passionate about public education, and has provided CBT skills training to palliative care and oncology professionals.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Little, Brown Spark
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ January 16, 2018
  • Edition ‏ : ‎ 1st
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 352 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0316504483
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0316504485
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 1.25 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 out of 5 stars 4,915 ratings

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Kathryn Mannix

Kathryn Mannix

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4,915 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this book insightful and well-written, with one noting it reads like a chat with a good friend. Moreover, they appreciate its compassionate approach, with one customer describing it as "sad but not depressing." Additionally, the book features amazing stories, with one review highlighting its beautifully woven tales shared with honesty.

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InsightWriting qualityCompassionStory quality
26 customers mention "Insight"26 positive0 negative

Customers find the book insightful, with one mentioning it serves as a great resource for beginning discussions about death, while another notes it's particularly valuable for those caring for aging loved ones.

"This book is so well written and provides such a great perspective on death. I recommend it to everyone I talk to now!" Read more

"My words wont do it justice, an amazing account of death as it actually occurs in a world where we hide it from ourselves...." Read more

"...This book is an excellent way to give yourself and the ones you love a chance to deal with the subject of our deaths and our journey in the process..." Read more

"Many insights gathered in a career palliative care doctor who has listened, really listened, to her patients...." Read more

16 customers mention "Writing quality"16 positive0 negative

Customers praise the writing quality of the book, describing it as a well-written treatise that is worth reading, with one customer noting it reads like a chat with a good friend.

"This book is so well written and provides such a great perspective on death. I recommend it to everyone I talk to now!" Read more

"This well written treatise is a must read for anyone who works with people facing life altering challenges...." Read more

"...This book tells in a concise way of the pattern to the way life ends...." Read more

"...loving care and compassion radiate from the pages of this beautifully written account of her daily life, professional training, clinical practice..." Read more

10 customers mention "Compassion"10 positive0 negative

Customers find the book compassionate, with sincere loving care throughout, and one customer mentions experiencing both sadness and joy while reading it.

"...I learned so much and felt so many emotions. Read it and know you have grown from doing so." Read more

"...as she writes of their and their family's story in a way which is compassionate and easy to understand, sad but not depressing...." Read more

"...Dr. Mannix's sincere loving care and compassion radiate from the pages of this beautifully written account of her daily life, professional training..." Read more

"I originally listened to this in audio form. She is such a beautiful kind hearted person and a consultant I would’ve loved to work alongside in my..." Read more

5 customers mention "Story quality"5 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the stories in the book, describing them as amazing and sobering, with one customer noting they are beautifully woven and shared with honesty.

"This thoughtful selection of end of life stories shared by a palliative care doctor is a must-read for older people and their children...." Read more

"Beautifully woven stories shared with honesty and so much insight...." Read more

"...Wonderful true stories." Read more

"Sobering story.Makes one think." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Kelly Martinez
    5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful understanding about death
    Reviewed in the United States on May 20, 2025
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    This book is so well written and provides such a great perspective on death. I recommend it to everyone I talk to now!
    Helpful
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  • Shyloh
    5.0 out of 5 stars Heart wrenching and eye opening
    Reviewed in the United States on September 28, 2024
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    My words wont do it justice, an amazing account of death as it actually occurs in a world where we hide it from ourselves. I learned so much and felt so many emotions. Read it and know you have grown from doing so.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Keith Wissman
    5.0 out of 5 stars If this book doesn't rip your guts out in a number of places you have no soul and heart
    Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2018
    Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
    One of the great mysteries of life to me is why people, particularly people that care for each other and love each other, find it so difficult to talk about a subject that all will experience, along with paying taxes.

    Amongst all the case studies that are used I recognized myself and each member of my family along with our functions and dis-functions. In general, one coping mechanism widely used in the family was that if we don't talk about "it", "it" doesn't exist or never happened. Until "it" does and then we stoically plow through the experience and almost never talk about "it" again. I had my first first-hand experience with death when my live in great grandmother died at home when I was 8 years old. That experience and the months afterward informed and shaped things for me for years to come.

    This book is an excellent way to give yourself and the ones you love a chance to deal with the subject of our deaths and our journey in the process of dying. I encourage you to use it as a discussion tool. Maybe even a small group study if you are courageous enough. I will be sharing this book with a older teen medical school aspirant who needs to better understand the "soft science" of medicine and not just the "hard science".

    Having spent a significant amount of time in the UK on business as well as vacation I enjoyed all the "UKisms" sprinkled throughout.

    I strongly recommend it without hesitation or qualification.
    46 people found this helpful
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  • TRose
    4.0 out of 5 stars As a physician, I find this book inspiring.
    Reviewed in the United States on November 16, 2024
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    Many insights gathered in a career palliative care doctor who has listened, really listened, to her patients. No one should practice medicine without reading this first.
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  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars wonderfully written
    Reviewed in the United States on May 18, 2024
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    This well written treatise is a must read for anyone who works with people facing life altering challenges. I read it because my spouse is dying and I want to be the best companion I can be and discovered everything I need to remember to make the rest of my life meaningful.
    One person found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Essential reading for everyone
    Reviewed in the United States on May 18, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    This book is an absolute essential reading for everyone. No one is immune from death, not only our own but our family and friends. This book tells in a concise way of the pattern to the way life ends. Each chapter relates to an individual patient of Kathryn's as she writes of their and their family's story in a way which is compassionate and easy to understand, sad but not depressing. I received this book two weeks before my husband was very unexpectedly taken ill and I finished it three days before he went into the hospital ICU. He was there for a week before I asked that he be taken to the Hospice as there was nothing they could do to save his life, only to make him as comfortable as possible. Prior to reading Kathryn's book I would not have thought to ask for Hospice care nor would I have had the understanding of the dying process. It made that few days so much easier to cope with and for our family to share his journey with him in a gentle and peaceful way to the end, making life without him in the past four weeks much more bearable than I though would be possible.
    47 people found this helpful
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  • knd
    5.0 out of 5 stars Radiates Caring and Compassion
    Reviewed in the United States on October 13, 2023
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    As someone with a terminal illness, I was naturally drawn to this volume. Dr. Mannix's sincere loving care and compassion radiate from the pages of this beautifully written account of her daily life, professional training, clinical practice and most of all, fragile patients. I wish more physicians had the wisdom, patience, and courage displayed by Dr. Mannix in her dealings with those at the end of their journey.
    6 people found this helpful
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  • Book Enthusiast
    3.0 out of 5 stars Disappointed
    Reviewed in the United States on February 9, 2020
    Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
    Would not have purchased if I had realized it is an English author and the English medical system. Not particularly germane to this country.
    8 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • JJBC
    2.0 out of 5 stars Repetitivo y tedioso
    Reviewed in Mexico on August 27, 2022
    Verified Purchase
    No es más que una colección de historias diversas sobre un montón de gente que vivió sus últimos días. Si bien se aprende uno que otro concepto sobre cómo es el proceso de muerte en personas con cuidados paliativos, en los que se puede aplicar uno que otro consejo, parece más un libro de “mini cuentos”.

    En las primeros capítulos se extrae lo práctico. De ahí aburre, pues las historias son repetitivas, con un inglés bastante rebuscado y se vuelve tedioso, pues ya no hay aprendizajes prácticos, pero sí un exceso de conversaciones transcritas que sirven para entretener a unos cuantos.

    Esperaba mucho más.
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  • Jose Babu T J
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book for living till dying
    Reviewed in India on October 26, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    Practical and professional tips for a comfortable living and dying.
    Create positive outlook towards death and dying.
    Worth reading and practicing to ensure a good life and death.
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  • Valeria
    5.0 out of 5 stars Consigliato.
    Reviewed in Italy on January 3, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    Ben scritto, affronta il tema morte con lucidità e empatia. Da leggere.
    Report
  • Anonymous
    5.0 out of 5 stars Entrega e produto nota 10
    Reviewed in Brazil on June 30, 2020
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    Entrega e produto nota 10
    Report
  • lapin
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great help, compassionate and insightful
    Reviewed in Germany on January 2, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    The book is very well written, provides insight and also comfort for a difficult subject. The author is very compassionate and manages to write with humour and respect at all times. I can only recommend this book.
    Report