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The Courage To Be Disliked: The life changing global bestseller recommended by Steven Bartlett on 'Diary of a CEO' (Courage To series Book 1) Kindle Edition

by Ichiro Kishimi (Author), Fumitake Koga (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.5 out of 5 stars 20,468 ratings
Best of #BookTok

THE 10 MILLION COPY BESTSELLER

Stop people-pleasing and achieve true happiness.


Millions have already benefited from the wisdom dispensed in The Courage to Be Disliked, its simple yet profound advice showing us how to harness our inner power to become the person we would like to be.


A philosopher and a student have a discussion. Their conversation reveals a profoundly liberating way of thinking: by developing the courage to change, set healthy boundaries and resist the impulse to please others, it is possible to find genuine and lasting happiness.

Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live.

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  1. Book 1 of 2
    Courage to
  2. Print length
    277 pages
  3. Language
    English
  4. Publisher
    Allen & Unwin
  5. Accessibility
    Learn more
  6. Publication date
    January 4, 2018
  7. File size
    2.3 MB
  8. Page Flip
    Enabled
  9. Word Wise
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  10. Enhanced typesetting
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  1. Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live.
    Highlighted by 15,744 Kindle readers
  2. ‘No matter what has occurred in your life up to this point, it should have no bearing at all on how you live from now on.’ That you, living in the here and now, are the one who determines your own life.
    Highlighted by 12,702 Kindle readers
  3. You were so afraid of interpersonal relationships that you came to dislike yourself. You’ve avoided interpersonal relationships by disliking yourself.
    Highlighted by 8,743 Kindle readers
  4. ‘The important thing is not what one is born with, but what use one makes of that equipment.’
    Highlighted by 5,843 Kindle readers
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Adlerian psychology meets Stoic philosophy in Socratic dialogue. Compelling from front to back. Highly recommend.” -- Marc Andreessen, venture capitalist and founder of Andreessen Horowitz

"Marie Kondo, but for your brain." ― Hello Giggles

“[The Courage to be Disliked guides] readers toward achieving happiness and lasting change… For those seeking a discourse that helps explain who they are in the world, Kishimi and Koga provide an illuminating conversation.” ― Library Journal

"A nuanced discussion of a complex theory, with moments of real philosophical insight.... [It's] refreshing and useful to read a philosophy that goes against many contemporary orthodoxies. More than a century since Adler founded his school of psychology, there’s still insight and novelty in his theories." ― Quartzy

About the Author

Ichiro Kishimi was born in Kyoto, where he currently resides. He writes and lectures on Adlerian psychology and provides counseling for youths in psychiatric clinics as a certified counselor and consultant for the Japanese Society of Adlerian Psychology. He is the translator, into Japanese, of selected writings by Alfred Adler—The Science of Living and Problems of Neurosis—and he is the author of Introduction to Adlerian Psychology, in addition to numerous other books.

Fumitake Koga is an award-winning professional writer and author. He has released numerous bestselling works of business-related and general non-fiction. He encountered Adlerian psychology in his late twenties and was deeply affected by its conventional wisdom–defying ideas. Thereafter, Koga made numerous visits to Ichiro Kishimi in Kyoto, gleaned from him the essence of Adlerian psychology, and took down the notes for the classical “dialogue format” method of Greek philosophy that is used in this book.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B074TWG8V7
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Allen & Unwin
  • Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ January 4, 2018
  • Edition ‏ : ‎ Main
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 2.3 MB
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 277 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1760638269
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Book 1 of 2 ‏ : ‎ Courage to
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 out of 5 stars 20,468 ratings

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  1. Ichiro Kishimi

    Ichiro Kishimi

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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
20,468 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book exceptionally enlightening and thought-provoking, providing a new perspective on life. Moreover, the readability receives positive feedback, with customers describing it as a brilliant and joyous read. However, the ease of reading and dialogue quality receive mixed reactions - while some find it easy to understand and the dialogue enlightening, others say it's hard to follow and lacks realism.

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InsightReadabilityEase of readingDialogue quality
210 customers mention "Insight"184 positive26 negative

Customers find the book insightful, appreciating how it brings philosophy and psychology together and provides a new perspective on life.

"Offers a very clear view of things that give energy to the reader...." Read more

"The thing that I love most about this book is that living life as a dance without thinking about the destination is the thing...." Read more

"I absolutely loved this book! It causes you to be very accountable for your life’s choices and thoughts. That everything is a choice...." Read more

"...to change your perspective on choosing to happy and what defines a happy life. Definitely one of my favorite books! i recommend this book to everyone" Read more

169 customers mention "Readability"160 positive9 negative

Customers find the book highly readable, describing it as a brilliant and insightful read with excellent content.

"Offers a very clear view of things that give energy to the reader...." Read more

"I absolutely loved this book! It causes you to be very accountable for your life’s choices and thoughts. That everything is a choice...." Read more

"...like the etiology/teleology dichotomy that make this book of considerable interest...." Read more

"...Reset your mind and don’t let your past decide your life. I enjoyed reading this book." Read more

128 customers mention "Ease of reading"88 positive40 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the book's readability, with some finding it easier to understand and make sense, while others describe it as hard to follow and too simplified.

"...Nonetheless it is passable and conveys the ideas mostly in a clear fashion...." Read more

"Easy reading with wise and practical strategies to stay in the present. Reset your mind and don’t let your past decide your life...." Read more

"Tough to go through.... to be honest...... It's a discussion between a young person and a philosopher. The discussions make a lot of sense though." Read more

"...Some of the aspects mentioned are clear and at the top of the iceberg, for some you need to really think and apply into your own life." Read more

72 customers mention "Dialogue quality"36 positive36 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the dialogue in the book, with some finding it enlightening and written like a conversation, while others note that it lacks realism and isn't believable.

"Two fictional characters, Youth and Philosopher, have a long engaging set of conversations regarding Adlerian psychology in The Courage to be..." Read more

"...The conversational format did not allow for that at all. The conversation moved on and left my understanding lying on the ground behind it...." Read more

"...The discussions make a lot of sense though." Read more

"...It is literally written as a conversation between two people...." Read more

Must Read!!!
5 out of 5 stars
Must Read!!!
I absolutely loved this book! It causes you to be very accountable for your life’s choices and thoughts. That everything is a choice. And that every single person has a different world view and we cannot impose our world view (or personality) onto others. There is so much freedom in this book for a more fulfilling life. I thought the dialogue form would be hard to read, but it was delightful.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Kindle Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful
    Reviewed in the United States on June 3, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Offers a very clear view of things that give energy to the reader. I love the part where it denies the effect of trauma, how what we take out of an incident has a bigger impact than the incident itself. This book gives the responsibility, thereby the power unto the individual itself, so that he or she can alter their life as they please.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Kevin Stecyk
    5.0 out of 5 stars A Must-Read Book to Prepare Yourself to be of Service to Your Community
    Reviewed in the United States on January 11, 2025
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    Two fictional characters, Youth and Philosopher, have a long engaging set of conversations regarding Adlerian psychology in The Courage to be Disliked.

    Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, and Alfred Adler were three pioneers in the field of psychology, with Adler being the least famous of the three.

    I am not wild about the narrative dialog format of this book. That said, I can see that the book might be dry if it were written in a textbook format.

    Five main themes stood out for me:

    1. Separation of tasks
    2. All problems are interpersonal relationship problems
    3. Community creates a sense of belonging
    4. Relationships should be horizontal and not vertical
    5. Stay focused on the here and now, not the past or the future

    In separation of tasks, you ask yourself whose task is this. If it is yours, then you take care of it. Don’t worry about how they perceive you doing your task. If the tasks belong to others, then you provide space for them to complete their tasks.

    All problems are interpersonal relationship problems. According to Adlerian philosophy, “if all interpersonal relationships were gone from this world, which is to say if one were alone in the universe and all other people were gone, all manner of problems would disappear.” All problems revolve around relationships with others.

    Our community provides a sense of belonging because none of us can exist as a singular entity. You use goods and services provided by others. As long as you can feel that you are of use to someone else, then you can feel from your own subjective viewpoint that you are making contributions to others, and that provides a sense of your worth.

    Relationships should be horizontal and not vertical where there are no praises or rebukes. Praise or Rebukes imply that a hierarchical relationship exists because a person has the power to either praise or rebuke. You should strive to be equal with all others.

    We cannot change the past, and the future is an abstraction. Worrying about either is wasteful. Life is a series of moments called “now.” And we can only live in the here and now. Despite the wishes of some, life is not linear progression. Instead, life progresses as a series of dots.

    By the end of the book, I found myself grasping to recall everything that I read and to put it into an easily understood mental model. While the book made sense while reading it, by the end, I had forgotten some of the material I read earlier. I just cracked open The Courage to be Happy. From the brief amount that I have read, it seems to reinforce the material covered in The Courage to be Disliked.

    Because this book made me think more about relationships, I highly recommend The Courage to be Disliked.
    50 people found this helpful
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  • Bli
    4.0 out of 5 stars tough to read but good
    Reviewed in the United States on April 9, 2025
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    Tough to go through.... to be honest...... It's a discussion between a young person and a philosopher. The discussions make a lot of sense though.
    2 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent
    Reviewed in the United States on May 21, 2025
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    The thing that I love most about this book is that living life as a dance without thinking about the destination is the thing. Focusing on the present and understanding that to be of service to others and to see others as your comrade is the key to happiness and learning how to communicate well while also understanding that all problems in our lives are massed interpersonal problems. I absolutely love this book.
    Helpful
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  • Beautiful Slow Twinkle
    5.0 out of 5 stars Must Read!!!
    Reviewed in the United States on May 15, 2025
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    I absolutely loved this book! It causes you to be very accountable for your life’s choices and thoughts. That everything is a choice. And that every single person has a different world view and we cannot impose our world view (or personality) onto others. There is so much freedom in this book for a more fulfilling life.
    I thought the dialogue form would be hard to read, but it was delightful.
    Customer image
    Beautiful Slow Twinkle
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    Must Read!!!

    Reviewed in the United States on May 15, 2025
    I absolutely loved this book! It causes you to be very accountable for your life’s choices and thoughts. That everything is a choice. And that every single person has a different world view and we cannot impose our world view (or personality) onto others. There is so much freedom in this book for a more fulfilling life.
    I thought the dialogue form would be hard to read, but it was delightful.
    Images in this review
    Customer imageCustomer image
    2 people found this helpful
    Helpful
     Report
  • William L. Scurrah
    3.0 out of 5 stars Fails to effectively argue its thesis.
    Reviewed in the United States on June 5, 2025
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    One of the more interesting points made in this book is the difference between etiology, the Freudian excavation of the past as cause of the present, and teleology, the Adlerian refocus on the goals of our present behaviors. While how we got to the present can be explained by past experiences, including our traumas, how we use that past today depends on what we want to achieve, our goals. For example, when a child who has been the center of attention during a protracted serious illness becomes well, he might sabotage his wellness in order to regain the attention and caregiving he received during his illness. In other words, he will choose a hypochondriac lifestyle not because he’s still ill, but because his goal is to continue to be taken care of; he mines the past to facilitate a desired present and future. Most of us can probably think of friends or family members who wallow in the past as a means of controlling the present.
    It's insights like the etiology/teleology dichotomy that make this book of considerable interest. But a word of caution: the situations discussed by the authors are typical of a certain class of people, those who are materially comfortable and secure enough to be able to indulge in such self-help thinking, but not helpful to people who have suffered genuine physical trauma, such as sexual molestation as children, or who face genuine suffering in the present, such as the citizens of Kiev or the parents of the victims of serial killers or the soldiers suffering from PTSD. There is genuine suffering in the world, and it is false to say that such people make their own traumas. Trauma does exist, contrary to the authors’ assertion otherwise.
    Whence this rather Pollyanna-ish worldview? Perhaps the setting is the clue: the book-lined study of a philosopher, complete with fountain pen and handwritten manuscript, who has withdrawn from the competitive world outside. The perfect place for theory to prevail.
    6 people found this helpful
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  • Miranda De La Paz
    5.0 out of 5 stars 5-stars!
    Reviewed in the United States on May 22, 2025
    Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
    5 stars! This book has a ton of great insights to change your perspective on choosing to happy and what defines a happy life. Definitely one of my favorite books! i recommend this book to everyone
    Helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Lizbeth
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book and delivered on time!
    Reviewed in Belgium on January 1, 2025
    Verified Purchase
     
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    Lizbeth
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    Great book and delivered on time!

    Reviewed in Belgium on January 1, 2025

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  • Shannon Dorizzi
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
    Reviewed in Australia on June 7, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Great book
    Report
  • あ
    5.0 out of 5 stars amazing how European do not know about Adler
    Reviewed in Japan on April 5, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Absolutely amazing book and a discovery for me about Adler’s psychology and theories
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  • Maryam
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
    Reviewed in the United Arab Emirates on November 25, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    Hard to apply in life but why not , interesting facts , love it 😍
    Report
  • PenPal
    3.0 out of 5 stars Great beginning, disappointing end
    Reviewed in Sweden on November 18, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    It’s difficult to write a review for this book. It starts off with some very interesting and useful theories connected to the title, but ends with the incredibly bland and tiresome “be good to others” lingo that we have already been taught from countless other books. Thus it shifts to something else for some reason. Surely Mr Adler must have had more to say on the topics presented in the first half of the book? I wish they had explored his teachings on a deeper and more advanced level. I also found that the dialogue, albeit an interesting format, becomes very disruptive. It hinders the flow and removes the sense of coherence.
    Report

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