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James Hollis
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Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up Kindle Edition

by James Hollis (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.4 out of 5 stars 1,355 ratings
#1 Best Seller in Adulthood & Aging
What does it really mean to be a grown up in today’s world?

We assume that once we “get it together” with the right job, marry the right person, have children, and buy a home, all is settled and well. But adulthood presents varying levels of growth, and is rarely the respite of stability we expected. Turbulent emotional shifts can take place anywhere between the age of thirty-five and seventy when we question the choices we’ve made, realize our limitations, and feel stuck—commonly known as the “midlife crisis.” Jungian psycho-analyst James Hollis believes it is only in the second half of life that we can truly come to know who we are and thus create a life that has meaning.

In Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life, Hollis explores the ways we can grow and evolve to fully become ourselves when the traditional roles of adulthood aren’t quite working for us, revealing a new way of uncovering and embracing our authentic selves. Offering wisdom to anyone facing a career that no longer seems fulfilling, a long-term relationship that has shifted, or family transitions that raise issues of aging and mortality, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life provides a reassuring message and a crucial bridge across this critical passage of adult development.
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  1. Print length
    290 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Avery
  4. Accessibility
    Learn more
  5. Publication date
    May 5, 2005
  6. Reading age
    14 years and up
  7. File size
    931 KB
  8. Page Flip
    Enabled
  9. Word Wise
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  10. Enhanced typesetting
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The midlife crisis is familiar enough, but as in previous works, Hollis (The Middle Passage: From Misery to Meaning at Midlife), brings a Jungian perspective to it that goes deeper than the idea of finding mere self-fulfillment. That feeling that you've been living the wrong life, that you're lost and confused, is "an insurgency of the soul," he says poetically, which "overthrows the conscious conduct of our lives." This mental suffering presents an opportunity to embark on a journey transcending expectations foisted on us by others, such as parents, and to find true self-knowledge. Hollis offers not a simple how-to on facing this crisis, but rather a deep Jungian exploration of individuation, the process of becoming the person one was meant to be. Sprinkling his discussion with references to prose, drama, poetry and popular culture as well as examples from patient histories, Hollis recommends working toward a mature spirituality by being true to personal experience and embracing the mystery of life. This spirituality is a reconnection to the voice of the soul, dramatized by images that appear to us in dreams. Hollis is humane and compassionate regarding the human condition, and his focus on the underlying meaning of life will resonate for many, though they may not respond to his somewhat mystical, god-laden language. (May 1)

Review

“How to find your way out of the woods (figuratively)…what’s at stake is what Hollis calls the biggest project of midlife: reclaiming one’s personal authority…”—More magazine "Midlife is a time when people can lose their way and flounder. Jungian analyst James Hollis knows this terrain, describes it well and asks the important questions that can lead to clarity, maturity, and meaning"—Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D., author of Goddesses in Everywoman and Gods in Everyman

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B000P2A436
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Avery
  • Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ May 5, 2005
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 931 KB
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 290 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1101216699
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Reading age ‏ : ‎ 14 years and up
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 out of 5 stars 1,355 ratings

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James Hollis

James Hollis

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James Hollis has a private analytic practice and is the executive director of the Jung Educational Center.

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
1,355 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this book highly recommended for adults, particularly those over 40, and appreciate its thought-provoking content that engages both head and soul. The writing style receives mixed feedback - while many find it well written, some note it can be wordy or obscure. The book's pacing is praised for its brilliance, with one customer noting how it breaks down complex ideas into manageable pieces. The title receives criticism for being misleading.

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ReadabilityAge rangePacingWriting styleTitle
110 customers mention "Readability"89 positive21 negative

Customers find the book highly readable and recommend it highly for every adult to read, with one customer noting it is particularly delightful for fans of Richard Rohr.

"Great book!" Read more

"Excellent. But....as many self-help and other expert authors on self-growth, he does not address the issue of sexuality in the second half of life...." Read more

"This is an excellent book! You can read the other reviews to see why. I'm going to discuss two criticisms of this 5 star book...." Read more

"Wonderful book. Definitely not your typical self help book...." Read more

13 customers mention "Age range"13 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's approach to aging, particularly noting it is great for those over 40, with one customer highlighting its tender approach to adulthood.

"...lyric at times, quite hard at others that loves you toughly but also tenderly, and it shows us a way that is not what we might be looking for but it..." Read more

"...Maturity is not boring, in fact it is exciting, full of possibilities, it is dropping all the needless and heavy baggages of the past and..." Read more

"...absolutely essential as a first step toward wholeness and congruence in your adult life. I cannot recommend it highly enough...." Read more

"It puts getting older in such a loving and kinder way and so much understanding. I think this is my 4th time reading it so far!" Read more

8 customers mention "Pacing"8 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the pacing of the book, with one customer noting that Hollis breaks down complex concepts like Jung's theories into manageable bites.

"...on in life, his writing is colourful, literary, sophisticated and very polished...." Read more

"...Hollis covers a broad range of topics, that when all combined, really help consider all areas of your life and what you want to make of it...." Read more

"...to James Hollis who is so gifted in his teaching in such a fluency and beauty, and to my own soul for bringing the book into my life, so that I..." Read more

"...to wait until I was 53 to have the opportunity to read something so lucid, so reasonable, and so matter of fact...." Read more

43 customers mention "Writing style"27 positive16 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the writing style of the book, with some finding it very well written while others note it can be wordy and obscure, making it not an easy read for those with a limited vocabulary.

"...Hollis does a great job of blending in Jungian theory and his actual therapy accounts, which add up to a compelling and intriguing call to explore..." Read more

"The book really put things in perspective. It is not an easy read but maybe that is good. Thinking time." Read more

"...who became a trained Jungian therapist later on in life, his writing is colourful, literary, sophisticated and very polished...." Read more

"...by PHD - and forwarded by stating his use of common / easily understandable language. Mmmm - missed that, so here’s my summary: 1...." Read more

7 customers mention "Title"0 positive7 negative

Customers have mixed reactions to the book's title, with several finding it misleading.

"Title is misgiving. If you Believe in The Bible, this is not the book for you...." Read more

"...common, understandable language and I found the book to be a very deliberate, high level read...." Read more

"...The author tries to be poetic, but it’s complex writing with a dose of self-grandiosity...." Read more

"...I gave a copy to my 23 year old son. It IS heady and I have to reread some sentences a few times, but I've underlined just about every sentence in..." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • RJ
    5.0 out of 5 stars Give Yourself or Someone in Your Life the Gift of a Brand New Life
    Reviewed in the United States on June 28, 2025
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    This book should be given to every single man on his 39th birthday. It’s a truly profound read that has changed the course of the rest of my life. I have finally found peace and calm in a way that antidepressants and therapy (though both helpful) never could. For me, finally understanding what was happening to me and why was a breakthrough. Up to that moment, I assumed that being unhappy was my own fault, and a fate I had to learn to live with.

    In short, at age 44, this book gave me an entirely new life to begin living and it’s such a gift. I thought my best days were behind me, but I was wrong. My best days are right now and they always will be, thanks to this book.
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  • cyberdiction
    5.0 out of 5 stars Borrowing, 'Did I find meaning, or did meaning find me?'
    Reviewed in the United States on November 6, 2014
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    This is an excellent book! You can read the other reviews to see why. I'm going to discuss two criticisms of this 5 star book. If you are looking for a proof that you have an unconscious that is also equivalent to a soul which is linked to God, you won't find it. I'm not sure that you will find that in any book. Evolution theory stipulates that evolution has no goal, no plan, so humans are not destined to raise their consciousness. Synchronicity (S) is an opposite Jungian concept. There is a goal called individuation which is helped by S's. Jung has developed more than one notion of S, and there are several books which attempt to explain it. Hollis mentions S, briefly on page 253,

    "We have mastered the language of the outer world through physics and chemistry, but the principle of synchronicity acknowledges that there is an inner world of causality as well."

    The word "acausal" means _not_ having a chain of cause and effect events unfolding in physical reality; it's the opposite of causal.
    Here are some of Jung's definitions which I don't see as including the Hollis interpretation which is tantamount to describing a miracle manifested by the will of God (constellated through the archetypes) is a causal agency and/or process. I think that "meaning" is not considered by most writers to be causally ordered. Here are various Jung descriptions,

    "Synchronicity: An Acausal Connecting Principle; "temporally coincident occurrences of acausal events." Jung variously describes an "acausal connecting (togetherness) principle", "meaningful coincidence" and "acausal parallelism"

    So it seems to me the Hollis description employs a peculiar emphasis. A skeptical agnostic will not find resolution or solace in Jungian theory as being true to reality. But the tools seem to work, at least so far.

    I became conscious that I had projected my anima on a real woman. Depth psychology recommends approaches to this dilemma. One of the methods is active imagination, or entering into a dialog with my inner, archetypal anima. I had this dream in which I was notified that two missing emails (I'm a retired computer tech) had been discovered. I remembered this dream when I awoke because I don't have any missing emails. Later on I was browsing the Yahoo news and read this article that Amelia Earhart and her pilot -- they think they found remains of where they crashed on some island in the Pacific. So then I read about Amelia, and she is the ideal of what I think my anima should be (I should be so lucky for such a real woman).

    I thought this event, my search for inner meaning through contact with my anima, and this outer event, discovery of news about Amelia Earhart, who matches what I would like my anima to be like, I thought this could be a coincidence touched by synchronicity. Hollis does a great job of blending in Jungian theory and his actual therapy accounts, which add up to a compelling and intriguing call to explore the Mystery of life. Perhaps the Jungian techniques actually do work and are testable in your own experience.
    EDIT: I have recalled that the woman I projected my anima upon did have a problem with some missing emails.
    16 people found this helpful
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  • M. T. D. C. M.
    4.0 out of 5 stars Lyric, tough and tender approach to adulthood
    Reviewed in the United States on December 2, 2017
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    This is the third book I read by Hollis, a Jungian psychoanalyst who specialises in the so-called middle passage, psychological true maturity and individuation. Hollis has the virtue to have me to stop and wow quite often, and this book was not different. Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life engaged my head and my soul, spoke to me and my hunger for transcending reality as imposed to me by gender, age, and cultural constrictions.

    Because Hollis is a former academic with a background in Humanities who became a trained Jungian therapist later on in life, his writing is colourful, literary, sophisticated and very polished. His discourse goes from the mundane to the philosophical and the spiritual, and he does so in depth, without the usual psycho-babble you find elsewhere in pop-psychology these days. If you have a good level of education or self-education, are familiar with Jungian terminology and Jungian approach to the psyche, and love reading books by people who preach by example, this is your book.

    BREAK WITH EVERYTHING
    This is perhaps Hollis' most confronting book on the subject. On the one hand, in this book Hollis does not provide you with any shortcut, or present a rosy view of anything, especially of your future in you decide to stay right where you are, doing what you do. Hollis debunks romantic love, traditional family, professional success, consumerism, pop ideologies, the many obsessions and addictions of our daily life (the obsession with health, youth and media included), New Age and herd behaviour, and does so without bitterness. His definition of soul as psyche, his emphasis on the power of myths and symbols for the well-being of society and the healthiness of the psyche, his castigation of major religions as not really spiritual, among other pearls, might be controversial.

    DON'T CRY BABE
    On the other hand, Hollis doesn't tell us how to lead our life, how to behave, or how to do things. He tells us that the middle passage will only be successful after going through our suffering and finding out from where it originates, burying our old set of values and ways of being, and giving birth to others that are more in tune with our soul's desire. We have to stop playing the victim, and assign a positive spin to our life dramas and moments of despair.

    This book is a call to listening to our deep calling, to taking responsibility for our own life, and to moving past our repetitive patterns of behaviour and personal history. Each person has a journey that is personal to them,so there is no cookie cutter to cut the fat, we have to de-construct our false self ourselves.

    Feeling good or getting comfort is not the aim of the advice in this book, nor is numbing your pain, but the aim of enlarging your life and reaching wholeness. Without the suffering, the non-suffering is taken for granted, so suffering has a function, it allows us to grow up and appreciate things more.

    According to Hollis, the two major tasks of the grown-up-to-be aren't getting money, position, possessions or medication, they are: 1/ The recovery of personal authority, i.e. to find what is true for us and have the courage to live it in the world. 2/ The discovery of a personal spirituality that resonates with us, that connects with us and is meaningful for us, no matter what other people think, and be willing to stand for what it is true for us. A kind of Braving the Wilderness: The quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone.

    Everything Hollis wants to say is, "If you do not like your life, change it, but stop blaming others, for even if they did hurt you, you are the one who has been making the choices of adulthood." (lcos. 3210-3211).

    Ouch!

    TOUGH LOVE
    Hollis has a great compassion towards human suffering, it is tuned to the needs and troubles that one faces when crisis strike in adulthood, because he has been there himself. However, because he's a depth analyst, he won't tell us what we want to hear in if we have depression, anxiety, desperation, a marital crisis, empty-nest syndrome, a professional crisis, and so on. He tell us what we need to know, so we get something out of our pain through your pain, become ourselves, dare to show our self to the world, and become the individual who our soul always wanted us to be: "often, inexplicably, it is the soul itself that has brought us to that difficult place in order to enlarge us" (loc. 212).

    PONDER WONDER
    Although this is not a how-to book, Hollis presents us with a considerable number of poignant questions so that we can start the inner dialogue and play psychoanalysts with ourselves. The most important one, to me, is: "If I have done the expected things, according to my best understanding of myself and the world, so why does my life not feel right?” (locs. 453-4). I think this is important because it doesn't focus on the world out there, the image we project of ourselves, our achievements, how successful we are, how many houses, cars or jewels we own, but on how we feel inside.

    DOWNSIDES
    Although I love this book, there are a few things that I consider improvable or points on which I difer.

    1/ Tool-less.
    Hollis is perfectly aware that most people haven't the means, economical or other, to have therapy or psychoanalysis, even if they need it and want to. On the other hand, psychological blocks are usually black points in our eye that we cannot see because they are right in the middle of the eye. That demands the help of a therapist, analyst or coach. I understand that Hollis doesn't want to provide a cookie cutter of an answer for anybody who is suffering from a personal crisis or wants to enlarge their lives, but I would have appreciated he making an effort, because, after all, he is a therapist and has the tools. It is true that the book has some suggestions about questions to ask ourselves to start a inner dialogue, but they cannot be answered if you are blocked, and some of them are too philosophical for the average John and Jane to be answered. Many people will buy this book because they were expecting practical help, but many of them won't have the intellectual holders to grab everything that Hollis throws at us. I hope that his forthcoming book will be more hands down and address the lack of practical advice that some might find in this book.

    2/ Muddle in the Middle.
    "Second half of life" is an expression that departs from ontological principles that do not reflect who we are as physical and social beings in the 21st century. It presupposes that we have a certain life span on this planet, that half way there we have a crisis, or that most of us have a grow-up spur at around the same age. I have said it before, my grandma died as an elderly lady at 48 years of age, so her middle age was 24 and she was probably in a corner by then having no way to go and unhappy to the core; there are women and men on this planet, right now, still living that way. Nowadays, 50y.o.a. is the new 40, or the new 35, or just 50 depending on one's level of maturity and physical state, and the culture and part of the world we were born or live in. On the other hand, a period that goes from 35 to 90y.o.a is a bit too vast! Or mid-life crisis being mostly between 35-45, well, it is a bit too precise! My grandma probably had hers at 25.

    3/ Mirage.
    Hollis says that in the second half of life "We lose friends, our children, our energies, and finally our lives. Who could manage in the face of such seeming defeat?." (locs. 3096-3098). Isn't that a total illusion? The same illusion that generates the obsession with health? There is no guarantee that we aren't going to be killed while young, healthy and beautiful, or that our families and friends will go before we do, or vice versa. In fact, we could be super-fit and super-young and be run over a car when walking on the footpath. We might have to deal with the death of all our family when young, because of sudden illness, accident, murder or suicide.

    4/ The Brady Bunch.
    At least in the Western World, traditional family is not about a man and woman marrying and having children. There are straight couples that don't marry, live together, de facto. for decades and decide not to have children even if they biologically could. Some uncoupled individuals have parental instincts have surrogate mothers giving birth to children who they parent and love. There are gay couples who live a very traditional life except for the fact that they are gay. There are men and women who decide not to marry or have children, and join a monastery and form part of a bigger family. Others live in hippy communes. Other singles won't join the monastery, but don't need the need to marry or have children to comply with other people's expectations or be content. The examples are endless. I say this because, asking ourselves what values and ways of being we want to pass on to our children, is a question that is a bit obsolete unless you have a child. Sometimes Hollis speaks as if the only mature way of life was getting married and having children. That is a bit of a delusion,no? Very traditional, no? I actually know many married people with children who have no psychological maturity at all. I am not saying that Hollis is not aware of this, he totally is, I am saying that the book does not reflects that.

    5/ Tongue Twist.
    At the beginning of the book Hollis says that the aim of the book is to present things in a language that most people can understand. However, many times I thought that a 'commoner' would find difficult getting through the book because of the vocabulary, and the high degree of symbolism and/or abstraction he uses. This might be a complicated book for many. I think this is especially the case in the chapter on spirituality and when he speaks about myth and symbolism. His meditations, so to speak, are beautifully written, but very elitist.

    5/ The pain of the pen.
    When one has remedial massage one learns that we get rid of the pain through the pain, as the treatment inflicts pain on the body. So, in a way, going through our suffering, as mentioned by Hollis here, is a bit like that. However his insistence on the suffering, his exaltation of the suffering, sounds a bit masochist at times. I am not saying that there isn't truth in what Hollis says, because I've experienced that to be true for me, but, hey, he insists too much on accepting the suffering and going through it as only alternative to find meaning and I am not sure that is always the case. Some people won't be able to do that, and will collapse and fail. We cannot condemn them for not being able to suffer or for not having the courage to go through it or getting meaning out of their suffering.

    6/ Spirited away.
    Hollis' insistence o spirituality starts very well, it is very open and I agree with what he says. But the more the book advances the more fixated Hollis becomes with spirituality and the more he gives, unwillingly, an aura of religiosity. To Hollis there is not growing up without spirituality. To me, that is a statement true for him and for many other people. There are ways of getting meaning out of life that aren't based on spirituality. Non-nihilist atheists I personally know find meaning in knowing that our transience demands living the moment, being fully present, making the most of our time, leading an ethical life for the sake of it, and leaving their offspring, if any, a good legacy. I also know deeply spiritual people whose lives are full of giving meaning to their suffering and they haven't grown much inside and are still psychologically immature.

    A QUESTION
    Individuation is a personal individual thing, so things that constrict an individual won't constrict another, and things that helps to expand a person won't help another. Culture, family history, life circumstances are all impositions on the soul. So, my question is, is individuation easier or more difficult to achieve by members of a given culture, religion or linguistic background than ohers? Does a culture creates more neurosis than another?

    IN SHORT
    This is a beautiful written book, lyric at times, quite hard at others that loves you toughly but also tenderly, and it shows us a way that is not what we might be looking for but it might be our best shot at growing up. The book will certainly satisfy those who love Jungian analysis and ways of looking at the inner and outer world that aren't simplistic, ways of looking at the world that allow for our individuality to be recognised, developed and expanded.

    One gets to feel how being a Jungian Therapist is what Hollis was meant to be, because his book oozes passion for his profession, and for the wonders that Depth Psychology can do for anyone, not just if we are in crisis. He sees the Jungian therapist as a mediator with your soul and the self, and that is a wonderful way to put it. There is a lot of soul in this book.

    Having said that, this book might not be useful or satisfying to you if:
    > You are a convinced nihilist. > You are very religious in a traditional way. > You are looking for a New Age book. > You need a book simply written with everyday vocabulary. > You are looking for a set of rules, step by step DIY system to solve your personal crisis. > You need somebody to tell you how to solve your problems and how to get out of your misery. > You are looking for something that is useful, but not that deep or complicated. > You aren't interested on Jungian depth Psychology and want a behavioural approach.

    THE KINDLE EDITION
    Great edition! I love when I get a book on Kindle, and I find it to be typo free, properly organised, notes properly linked back and forth, and everything as it should be and as it is in a hard-copy. That demands from the editors caring about us customers, and I really appreciate it!
    245 people found this helpful
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  • Linda Blue
    5.0 out of 5 stars To late for me to return it, so going to Good Will
    Reviewed in the United States on March 21, 2025
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    Title is misgiving. If you Believe in The Bible, this is not the book for you. I really liked the title being 77, but as I read deeper into it I realized this was not my way of thinking. It might be for others but not for me. Read what Junigian Analyst believe before you buy this book. If you are comfortable with these views and thoughts, for you it will be a interesting read.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Chris
    5.0 out of 5 stars Brought me out of my existential depression
    Reviewed in the United States on November 19, 2024
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    I'm a 42 year old male who has suffered from anxiety and depression in the past. I have all the things that should make me happy -- success, money, comforts -- but instead I have battled with myself in my head, causing a lot of suffering, and without a larger meaning/purpose, I fell into deep depressions, questioning what the purpose of living is. When I read this book, within the first chapter I felt like I finally met someone who understood what I was going through. Once I understood *what* parts of me were battling inside of my head, I was able to move out of my depression, and can say that I'm in a good place now. If you're in a similar place, give this book a shot. If it speaks to you, it could help you find the answers you are looking for.
    12 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Joseph
    5.0 out of 5 stars ineguagliabile
    Reviewed in Italy on September 28, 2020
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    il contributo che questo libro ha dato alla comprensione della mia crisi di mezza età è impagabile.
    Il linguaggio è piuttosto comprensibile e non troppo tecnico. Unico neo: a volte i concetti espressi vengono ripetuti un pò. Per il resto è una esperienza da non perdere.
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  • mark rogers
    5.0 out of 5 stars This is the sort of book you have to read ...
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 6, 2014
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    This is the sort of book you have to read properly - no skimming. The author has an expansive writing style, very readable, but some reviewers have said repetitive. I would disagree with that - The concepts he talks about are complex and important. After reading about 50 pages I came to the conclusion that if he had just explained things once, I wouldn't have fully understood their depth or, if I'm being honest with myself, my ego wouldn't have accepted that I think in the way he is suggesting. The repetition slowly breaks down the barriers.

    I started my own journey on the "second half of life" about 2 years ago so, from what I've gone through in that time, I can identify with everything he says. The book makes sense, is relevant and, most importantly, really does talk about the things you need to know if you are entering your midlife crisis. Definitely worth buying
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  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars The best book I read in last 15 years
    Reviewed in Canada on May 25, 2025
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    I can’t say more about then this book is a must read unlike any other self help book the content is realllllly reallllllllllllly helpful. I’m glad to have reached it somehow through inner retrospection . Right from the beginning of the book providing the metaphors of the feelings that are deep inner provides instant therapy to those who need the most. More over examples to the 6 patterns connecting what everybody goes through. The real life example. This book is not just a therapy to reader but the author also notably did everything he could to dip people through a journey of sole. I love this book.
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  • Kindle Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Danke
    Reviewed in Germany on May 24, 2025
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    Sehr inspirierend!
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  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
    Reviewed in India on May 3, 2018
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    Very good book
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