Eric Barker does it again with another great book you must read. The biggest determiner of your happiness is the relationships we have and the crap society teaches about relationships generally sucks sperm whale. It is not your fault you don't get along with your neighbors.
Barker starts out by pointing out how friendship is critical to happiness yet we don't generally honor friendship much in our western society. Barker helps fix this by pointing out how to have better friendship without being slimy like Dale Carnegie.
Next topic was dealing with jerks. More specifically sub-clinical narcissists. Basically, narcissists have a hard time having empathy for anyone so you have to stroke them just right. Appeal to narcissists sense of similarity, be vulnerable to the narcissist, and I can't remember the last one. (Hint: buy the book.) Being a lawyer, I am thinking of tattooing this list on my arm so I don't forget it.
Lastly, Barker goes into saving marriages and relies on the work of Gottman in a huge way. Gottman wrote the book "Seven Habits of Highly Effective Marriages" based on 50 years of research on the causes of divorce. See my Amazon review on the Seven Habits book. (Note: worst title for a book goes to Gottman's publishers.) I read Gotman's book while in law school after seeing the catastrophic legal implications divorce has on your life, i.e. it will mess you up for the rest of your life in a big way. Free legal advice; avoid divorce by any means possible like by having a background check done. (I was accused in law school of being Captain Obvious.) Gottman has done a lot more research and written a bunch more books which Barker summarizes. So you can read a dozen Gottman books or just read Barker for the highlights.
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About the author
Don't Read This Book—Enphagorate It
Well-structured amusing stories that gradually lead into more and more stories. Despite being thick with science, there is little stink to all this science, and that is Barker at his best. The slick segues to scientific studies establishes authority the author uses to make unarguable points about the state of social relations. I cried manly tears at the end as the author related he needed to write the book more to feel he belonged to something more than himself. Each chapter builds on the points of the last, outdoing Barker's usual enlightening email essays, trending towards grand points that felt almost-too-obvious, painfully so, by the time I read the end of the chapter. I own two physical books: Stillness is the Key and now this. I regret that that this book has pages and weight, but the typography and size make it quite the easy reading experience that gels with Barker's digestible writing. By buying this, you're not buying science, though the science is all there. You're buying story, an organization of the already-present world that gives you a roadmap for engaging in constructive, healthy, and satisfying relationships with your tribe and world.
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Top reviews from other countries
- HolmarReviewed in the United Kingdom on April 15, 2024
As soon as I finished it I said to myself. I have to read this book again soon.
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase - Amazon CustomerReviewed in Canada on July 28, 2022
relationships do matter
Format: KindleVerified Purchase - Sarah HagueReviewed in France on July 23, 2022
Informative, interesting and fun to read
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase -
RogierReviewed in the Netherlands on August 6, 2022
Heerlijk om te lezen
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
