I’ve now been surviving troll brigades for 20 years — since before social media, even. After two decades of death threats, slander and profanity-laced suggestions that I engage in improbable sexual acts, I’ve learned there is only one effective way to respond to any of it: don’t. It’s a rigged game, and the only way to win is to ignore the invitation to participate.

Unfortunately, we’re now discouraged from telling people to do the only thing that works. Saying “ignore it” supposedly downplays the serious harm these attacks can do, especially to marginalized groups. It normalizes abuse. Instead, we’re all supposed to expose the harm, call out the attackers and press online platforms for better moderating tools.

This is well-meant, but far too optimistic. No technology filter will ever keep people from saying horrible things on the internet; at best, it can filter out a few of the ugliest words. Nor does it help to point out that trolling is mean.